


Because I love you too much (I can’t love you)

by ushibread



Series: Everyone starts to beg once they’re in hell [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Death Threats, Delulu fan behavior, Hurt, Insecurities, M/M, Slurs, Suicidal Thoughts, but it’s light tho, excessive hate comments, help me, i made myself cry while writing those hate comments, i’m sad now, tbh wonu and cheol literally only appear for a few seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27366805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ushibread/pseuds/ushibread
Summary: When news broke out that they are dating, Mingyu couldn't take the hate.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Mingyu
Series: Everyone starts to beg once they’re in hell [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998964
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Because I love you too much (I can’t love you)

**Author's Note:**

> the song quoted at the start is “suffering for love” by eden

✨

_" now, even breathing isn't taken_

_for granted. i'm afraid of this love_

_i just wanna love you, touch you, be with you_

_i can't escape from you, i can't love you_

_i just wanna leave you, hate you, erase you_

_because i love you too much, i can't love you. "_

They say that love can overcome all obstacles.

And Jeon Jungkook believed that with all his heart; for he was head over heels, hopelessly and utterly in love. When he first met Kim Mingyu, Jungkook knew that he was done for.

One little smile was all it took for Jungkook to get hooked.

One little laugh was all it took for Jungkook to become absolutely smitten.

One little kiss was all it took for Jungkook to decide to follow him to the ends of the earth.

Their love overcame multitudes of obstacles. They managed to get their members to accept them. They got both of their companies to protect them. They got their parents to love them. It wasn't an easy ride. They fought for their love; risking their very careers for each other.

It took them three months until BTS and SEVENTEEN finally accepted them, with both of their leaders promising to do everything to keep them a secret.

It took them ten months to get PLEDIS and Big Hit to finally be okay with their relationship, and promising them to do their very best to protect their secret.

It took them a whole year to get their families to accept their relationship and to love them regardless, with promises of their support and doing their best to help them keep their secret.

But all secrets must come to light some day. Secrets never stay secrets for long. They always find a way to escape the tightest of grasps.

One little article was all it took for their secret to become known to the world.

One little picture was all it took for their lives to fall apart.

One little message was all it took for Mingyu to completely break.

_**[ BREAKING NEWS! ]** _

_**BTS’ JUNGKOOK AND SEVENTEEN’S MINGYU DATING?** _

_SEVENTEEN’s Mingyu and BTS' Jungkook have been spotted together at Han River at around 11 pm, last Friday. The two idols were seen being very intimate with each other that night. Jungkook even held Mingyu’s hand! Was it a date? Or was it just a hangout between close friends?_

_Inside sources have revealed that the two boys are usually seen sneaking out of their company buildings or dorms late at night, allegedly to see each other. Multiple fans have also been stating a few instances where the the idols would stare at each other in a "more than friendly way", so to speak. Is there something going on between the two?_

_Both Big Hit and PLEDIS entertainment have yet to post an official announcement regarding the status of the idols. For now, we will just have to wait and see. Are we finally getting our very first publicly dating gay couple in kpop?_

_Give us your thoughts on the comment section below!_

_**[ view comments ]** _

**jeonbunny** : ew! that's so disgusting! 🤢 jungkook oppa would never date someone like that mingyu rat! he's too ugly for kookie.

**vkookstalker** : hell no! jungkook oppa is for taehyung oppa only!

**augustdick** : what does jungkook even see in that retarded monkey?

**carrotsvt** : of all the people in the world mingyu just had to date that guy? bts is so overrated and their music sucks.

**nonnievernon** : i refuse to believe this! seventeen are not fags! that jungkook asshole better stay away from mingyu, he's a bad influence.

**meaniestan** : smh mingyu could do better. like wonwoo for example! ugh, mingyu dated the wrong jeon 🙄

**carrotstick** : awwe, they look so cute together! ☺️ i hope they work out, if they really are dating.

**love.bts** : they look so cute! i hope they stay happy! boys, don't mind the haters! your real fans will stay by your sides. carats and armys are with you until the end! 🥰🥰

**btspavedtheway** : mingyu is just using kookie for clout so seventeen would get famous. lol, as expected from a flop group that can't even write decent songs.

**mingguboi** : can't you assholes just leave them alone! so what if they turn out to be dating?! it's not our business. you people are not fans because real fans would be happy for their idols, no matter who they are in love with. we don't get to dictate their lives. they are still humans with feelings.

**bts.sasaeng** : ^^^ lol, someone shut this piece of trash up. bitch thinks she's relevant 😂 hunny, come back and talk to us once your faves get onto the same level with bts; which is never! lol, i'm surprised seventeen even made it this far with their shitty music, shitty dances and ugly members 😂

**armylove** : ^^^and this is why people hate our fandom. it's because of rats like you that we get hated on. don't listen to them jungkook! you and mingyu look great together 😊

Comment after comment, Jungkook reads them all. Word after word, he feels his blood boil.

They may be his fans, but he hates that majority of the comments were from ARMYs. He hates that they hate their relationship. He hates the way they talk about Mingyu and the rest of SEVENTEEN. He’s so mad that he can't even bring himself to get mad at the comments thrown by CARATs, even though there were almost just as much mean comments from them as well.

Jungkook sighs. This is why people hate them and their fans. It’s because of fans like these that the rest of the fandom got a bad reputation. There were plenty of hate from CARATs, too but not as much as ARMYs. Why do both fandoms hate them? Why do they hate that they're in love?

Do they really hate their relationship that much?

Does the thought of them dating really repulse their fans?

Before he could even get deeper into his thoughts, his phone rings. He sees Jeon Wonwoo’s name flash across the screen, illuminating the darkness of his room.

"Hello?"

"Kungkook? I’m sorry for calling so late, but Mingyu—"

At the mention of his boyfriend's name, Jungkook shot off the bed.

"What happened? Is he okay? Did he see the article? Oh my god, is he hurt? Wonwoo, is he—"

"Calm down! I don't know, he's locked himself in his room since he saw the news. He’s—"

"I’m on my way."

It took him a little longer than expected, but he still managed to get into SEVENTEEN’s dorms undetected, at least he hopes he did. Knocking thrice, he was met with the stressed face of their leader, Seungcheol. Usually, Jungkook would tease him and comment one or two things about his looks, but Mingyu is more important at the moment.

Seungcheol gave him a nod in greeting and opened the door wider for him. On his way to Mingyu’s shared room with Jeonghan and Wonwoo, he was also greeted by the rest of the members. He gave them all a quick wave and walked faster to where Mingyu locked himself in.

He doesn't hesitate to knock, and he hears the faint voice of his boyfriend through the door.

"Go away."

"Gyu, it's me. Can you let me in?"

Not even a second later, the door burst open and Jungkook feels himself get pulled into the room. He didn't even get the chance to speak when he hears the door slam shut and feels arms wrap around his waist tightly. He doesn't waste a single second to do the same, and Mingyu immediately starts crying.

Jungkook feels his heart constrict as each cry echoed in his ears. He feels his shirt getting wet with Mingyu’s tears. He feels the two of them slowly slide down until they were sitting on the floor. He feels the pain in his legs due to the awkward position they managed to get themselves into.

And all the while, Jungkook did not let go of Mingyu.

It felt like hours until Mingyu had calmed down enough that his cries gradually became sniffles. Jungkook was still holding him, being super careful, as if Mingyu was made of glass.

At the moment, he might as well be.

"Would it be better if I just killed myself?" was the first thing Mingyu asked after a long, painful silence.

Jungkook tensed, and hugged the boy tighter, afraid that he would suddenly vanish. Before Jungkook could even answer, Mingyu started talking again.

"People are starting to hate on SEVENTEEN and BTS more than ever. Some of the CARATs and ARMYs have left the fandoms, and stopped supporting our groups altogether. People have been telling me to go kill myself. That I’m worthless. That I’m a traitor. That I’m just using you for fame. That I don't deserve you. And we didn't even confirm our relationship yet! I don't want our groups to suffer...I don't want you to suffer..."

"...maybe they're right. I don't deserve you."

Jungkook feels himself getting mad at every word Mingyu said. He hates that a few delusional people had this much effect on his lover. He hates that he doesn't know what to do. He hates feeling useless, especially when his Mingyu is hurt.

"Let’s break up."

Jungkook never got one word out the moment he stepped inside the room, and this is what he hears? Mingyu wanting to break up? Over his dead body.

Jungkook gripped his lover's shoulders, wanting to get his point across.

"Listen here Kim Mingyu: I fucking love you! I love your laughs. I love your cooking. I love the fact that you're bigger than me, because I like it when we cuddle, that you can easily wrap yourself around me. I love your cute canines. I love your beautiful skin. I love your outgoing and cheerful personality. I love the fact that you can cheer me up with a single smile. I love you. There’s nothing left for me to say except that.

So stop saying that you don't deserve me, because you do! I deserve to have someone like you, and you deserve someone like me. You’re perfect in my eyes. You’re not worthless, because if you were, I wouldn't have hit on you with the lamest pick-up lines in history when we first met. Those delusional fans of ours are not real fans if they don't support our relationship, because the last time I checked, we aren't robots and we both have the freewill to love whoever the fuck we want.

And I chose you. I chose to love you. And I chose to love you for the rest of my life. So don't say we're breaking up. I don't want us to break up. I love you, and I can't bring myself to let you go. We’ll face this together. So please...

...please...stay with me..."

It took Mingyu a long time to process everything Jungkook just said. After what felt like an entire lifetime, mingyu spoke, a sad smile on his chapped lips.

"...I’m sorry, Kookie..." a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you too. So so so fucking much." a kiss on his left cheek.

"I’m really really sorry..." a kiss on his right cheek.

"But I risk both of our careers for this. BTS have just dominated the world, and I can't be selfish enough to ruin that."

and finally, a kiss on the lips.

Their last kiss.

A final goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> tbh, idk what i wrote, but uh...i hope you guys liked it 😊 
> 
> and yes, i was lazy with the usernames and just typed the first names i could think of. this is also posted on my one shot book on wp, so if this looks familiar, you’ve probably already read it there...😂😂


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